Zoey Samaras: Kill Them All!..

June 5th 1925

A crash of water, muffled through the bag on his head. Drowsiness leaves him in a rush, driven out by harsh sensation. Coughing, spluttering for breath, he reaches for the sopping wet bag clasped over his head, hoping to take it off.

Restraints prevent him from moving.

Between gasps, he tries to recall what happened. He was on the way to a meeting, de-touring off Monarch Square, onto a back-alley for a faster route. Then, a soft thud of something impacting the back of his head, and now he was....

...the rest of the train of thought disappeared as breathing became ever harder. The bag was sticking to his jaw, obstructing his mouth. He was drowning. With no recourse, he strained against the chair she was sat on, hoping something would budge. When that didn't work, he mustered the last of his breath and screamed, hoarsely. Someone. Anyone! Help m-

And then freedom. The coarse hemp strands of the bag chaff his skin as it's pulled off his face. Cloying blackness became searing light, as his retinas burn from the sudden change in illumination. Dazzled, disoriented, he focuses solely on breathing for a while, content to shut out all other sensation.

"...ere were you going?"

Reverie at being able to breathe again, interrupted by a voice, barely heard over his own gasps, but close. Very close. His eyes still had not adjusted to the blistering light, so through squinted slits, he peered at the floor, slowy inching his gaze up. A pair of bar shoes entered his vision; flat-soled, but undoubtedly feminine. Next came a blue-striped apron, silhouetting a hand, holding even more blinding light. No... a glinting metal cross, nursed in a tight grip, shiny from prolonged handling.

"Tell me where you were going to meet your cult."

The voice again, now with a recognisably cold edge, detached from the suffering of the man in front of it. His mind slots the pieces together, and his predicament dawns on him. This is his kidnapper, and his captor. With the danger he was in laid bare, he wrestled his eyes up to the face of the voice. There, the halo of a warehouse light was eclipsed by an enshadowed figure. Features were hard to make out; long, dark hair cascaded down a pale face. An angled nose, a clenched jaw, and a gaze, unwavering from his own.

"Please. I have nothing to offer, and I know my friends will look for me when I don't show up in time."

"You are doing the devil's work. Where are your friends?"

He stiffened at the blunt accusation. Was she with the police? Unlikely. Does the Bureau of Investigation even have female agents? Perhaps a gangster then, unhappy with a perceived encroachment on her territory.

"If I trespassed, I am most sorry. You see, we just want to meet outside of the public's eye, I sure you would underst..."

Before he was even finished with his sentence, she was striding to a nearby crate, where a lantern, a tote bag, and a cloth bundle had been laid. Tucking the bundle under her arm, and hoisting the industrial kerosene lantern up, she returned to her prior position.

"...and our business is benign. We are simply... a club of like-minded fellows looking to improve the world. Sappy, I know, really it's an excuse to share a few hours with friends. If I could just... be on my way, I'm sure we could put all this unpleasantness behind us. I won't tell anyone what happened here, you have my word."

Anything else he was about to say died in his throat as she unravelled the cloth bundle, revealing an array of sharp instruments, gleaming with malevolent intent. She picks up one with the practiced effortless of a surgeon, and turns to her captive.*

"I Will have your word. As the lord commands it, you will reveal unto me the names of you heretical cult, and where they are conducting their foul deeds this night"

"No. Wait! We can't be sto- Ah! AAHHHHHH!"

For the second time that evening, he screamed for his life in an effort of futility.

Rivertown's docks and piers saw activity even past the midnight hour. It was a testament to her fortitude that she could stick to out-of-sight alleys and un-lit riverside paths while half-dragging, half-carrying the disfigured cultist all the way from the warehouse to his destination he had eventually divulged; A wood workshop, condemned and deteriorating along the Rivertown's drydock. With the light of the moon and her faith in her bearings, she traversed the meandering streets to the target laid out to her by the Lord's voice.

Along for the ride, the man that had received righteous punishment was half-delirious, and it was an effort to keep him subdued.

"You.. you have no idea what you're stepping into. We are Its Chosen, and a mere inconvenience like you won't so much as hamper Its plans. And what glorious plans they are! If only you could see. If only I could show you!"

His voice fell on deaf eyes, and save for an adjustment of the knife at his throat to quiet his exclamations, she pressed on to her destination. The tote-bag's strap dug into her neck, heavy with the tools revealed to her through another vision, acquired long ago, many miles from Arkham, in an abandoned quarry.

The workshop was in sight now, towering over the waters. Despite its dis-used look, there was faint light emanating from the upper windows, and there was a faint waft of tobacco... and incense.

"Which entrance were you going to use?"

"..."

"Answer the question", she hissed, irritable at the continued defiance. Those that turn from God should be begging for mercy at the twilight of their judgement... perhaps they would receive it too, if they committed themselves fully to repentance before the Lord.

"...the riverside entrance, not that it will do you any good. Are you planning to kidnap two dozen brothers and sisters by yourself? Ha!" He garbled, blood loss taking its toll on his faculties.

Zoey had no such plans, as with a final effort, she hoisted the man to the specified door, and then, threw him through it, making as much of a racket as she could, before high-tailing it around to the opposite side of the building. The commotion she heard was a sign her plan had worked; they would be onto her soon, but not soon enough. Untangling the tote-bag from herself, she pulled out its contents: fifteen sticks of demolition explosives, and a box of matches.

*"May holy fire cleanse your souls of sin and cast you into His light, and eternal heaven", she intoned, as she set the fuse alight. Leaving it tucking into the corner where the ground met the workshop wall, she sprinted out of there, adrenaline fuelling the last exertions of this night's task. Without care to look behind her or see where she was going, she pelted across sleepy Rivertown, with little sound except for her bar shoes slapping the pavement, until...

BOOM!!!!!

Even with the distance she covered, she left the outer edges of the shockwave strike her back, followed by a warmth that dispelled the cold night air. At that point, she faltered, exhaustion finally catching up to her, but she must alight before the police arrived. Disposing of the tote-bag and knife in a skip, and removing her blood-stained apron and tucking it away, she re-traced her way back into the shadowy back-paths of Arkham, heading home.

There would likely have been survivors, and she did not have the luxury to finish off any who defied the Lord's will. But their time would come, and likely by her hand, as God's Chosen. Patience would have to be the virtue espoused tonight. Tomorrow would be another day, and where she will be needed, His voice would command her to go.

"The Lord's work shall be done" she reassured herself. "Sinners cannot hide from the Lord our Father. And when they are found..."

"...Kill them all..."

And Let God sort them out...!

Thank you for reading my short story that accompanies this theme-heavy Zoey Samaras deck. This is not the first version of the deck published, but the previous one was rushed out in an attempt to adhere to a regular deck-publishing schedule.

That was a mistake, for not only did I not test this deck before publishing it the first time, but the write-up reflected my lack of experience with the deck, which I think it was received so underwhelmingly.

So, second try, second chance. Let me present to you, a Zoey Samaras deck built around "Let God sort them out...", the exact kind of thing I would expect a potentially insane zealot to say.

Zoey usually plays quite simple, dare I say generic. This deck subverts that, adding a side-objective for her to attempt to achieve without compromising your general purpose of protecting your team. If you want a fresher take on playing guardian than equipping a big gun and standing guard, this is the deck for you.

A Divine Task

We have our work cut out for us if we're to set up a round where we can kill 6 health worth of enemies in two actions and play "Let God sort them out..." on the third at lvl 0. It gets easier as you get xp (and as healthier enemies start showing up), but for now, our best bet is Dynamite Blast, followed closely by Spectral Razor.

Once these cards are in our hand, we now need to set up a board state of two to three enemies to hit in one fell swoop. For that, we'll need to hold out until the number of enemies appear on the map, which means stalling tactics.

Evasion Zoey

Of course, the main way one stalls enemies is to evade them. 2 might seem too poor a stat-line to even try evasion, but fortunately Zoey Samaras has a fair number of options to make it do-able.

5 is the threshold I was looking for to make the occasional evade a reality, so three or icons were needed, and Take the Initiative and Daring were there to provide.

They're especially useful because they have alternative uses should the uncommon case of needing to evade an enemy not present itself; Daring help with fighting as well, and Take the Initiative helps with mythos phase tests.

Cunning Distraction bypasses the need to test evasion at all, so we include it as our 5th splash card 'panic button', should things get out of hand. Cunning Distraction also allows the optimal case of throwing Dynamite into a connecting location, rather than at our own feet (which will unfortunately be the most likely case otherwise, though we have safeguards against that outcome).

And finally, I've saved the best for last:

Hands Behind Your Back!

The standout stall card of my Forgotten Age campaign is undoubtedly Handcuffs. You would not believe how many monster enemies are also humanoid enemies; ghouls for example can be handcuffed, and (minor spoilers) I found tonnes of Handcuffable targets in my Forgotten Age campaign.

Once anything is handcuffed, it's completely neutered, unable to attack or pose any threat whatsoever. However, it's still a source of health to trigger "Let God sort them out...", AND it can still be engaged, which allows you to drag it into whatever position you need to get off a good Dynamite Blast without triggering attacks of opportunity.

(Note: A major drawback of this deck will be the innumerable sex jokes made at your expense every time you play Handcuffs on an enemy and walk about with them. Definitely the low point of playing with this deck).

Chef's Utensils

Now, if the handcuffed enemy has more than three health, it's time to... whittle them down a bit with the help of our assortment of knives (or with a cross). Don't be deterred by the meagre offering of weapons in this deck; events will be our primary way of killing enemies, which suits Zoey's style of economy well. She gains resources AFTER enemies engage on her, meaning high-cost weapons are likely to only be playable after the window of opportunity to play them has passed.

So, keep the weapons cheap, use them on small fry that aren't worth keeping around for a big boom, and on larger enemies with 4+ health to get them down to the sweet-spot of three health.

Against Bosses, the lack of consistent damage in the lvl 0 version of this deck will prove troublesome. Do not fret however; not only is Flamethrower going to make its way into the deck eventually, kill 'em all Zoey has both the evasion and the health/sanity pool to wrestle with the early game bosses of most campaign for a while, maybe not killing them, but buying enough time for everyone else to parley/investigate their way to act's end.

Accelerationism

So, we have the combo pieces, we have the combo catalysts, and we have the delaying tactics... but what about the acceleration tactics?

After all, even with preparation, the outer gods of mythos deck RNG might be uncaring of your desire, being stingy with enemies or sending them to inconvenient locations. And for every round it takes to bring plans to fruition, a round passes where the impetus of just killing enemies that threaten your teammates will grow stronger, until you give in and let the "Let God sort them out..." window or opportunity pass, in favour of, well, not losing the scenario.

This is where Taunt and First Watch come in, which while useful in their own right in keeping your cluevers and supports unfettered, come with the added benefit of getting enemies to you fast and easy.

And once they're on you, delaying the inevitable becomes quite vital. Again, a strictly useful card on its own (especially for a non-impoverished guardian), it made all the more important in this deck as a Dynamite Blast self-harm nullifier. No need to take three damage (plus attacks of opportunity with lvl 0 blast) just to prove your devotion to the Lord.

And finally, we have a nuclear option; one designed to prevent you from screwing over your teammates because you're juggling enemies instead of dispatching them, and also to prevent undesirable mental trauma in favour of far less concerning physical trauma. If you accelerate too fast, and bring too much heat on yourself... there's always "I'll see you in hell!", an alternative badass boast of a pious zealot.

Everything Else

All that leaves unexplained is Physical Training and "If it bleeds...". Neither of these cards are necessary; one does makes use of potentially excess resources, the other is some horror-healing which I'd recommend you take some of, if not specifically "If it bleeds..." (but really, just take it and shout out these card titles across the table as you play them; really get into the headspace of a holy determinator for the amusement of your party).

Regardless, these two are replaceable in your own version of this deck, and among the first to go when upgrading.

Upgrade Path

Upgrades are surprisingly straightforward, and are summarized below (in no particular order):

Fight Cards:

• Trench Knife Blood Eclipse (1) Blood Eclipse (3)
• Survival Knife Flamethrower
• Knife Overpower (2)

Triple Event Upgrades:

• Taunt Taunt (2) Taunt (3)
• Dynamite Blast Dynamite Blast (2) Dynamite Blast (3)
• Delay the Inevitable "I've had worse…" (2) "I've had worse…" (4)

Willpower and Soak:

• "If it bleeds..." + "I'll see you in hell!" Spiritual Resolve
• Physical Training Brother Xavier OR Police Badge
• "Let God sort them out..." Brother Xavier OR Police Badge

I think I can leave the order of upgrades to you, thanks to the simplicity of the upgrade path. In the Forgotten Age campaign I played, I got Dynamite Blast (2) and Blood Eclipse (1) early, followed by Spiritual Resolve to stop ending scenarios on one health.

After that, I was pressured to take Flamethrower so my party could breathe easier when their guardian got some reliable damage. "I've had worse…" (2) and Overpower (2) came after to solve logistic issues. A few same-name upgrades here and there, and a late Police Badge finished off my own order of upgrades, which by no means is the only or the best way to go about it.

Indeed, the main thing that many of the listed upgrades do is make it ever easier to trigger "Let God sort them out...". Special mention goes out to Brother Xavier and Police Badge, both of which give a much desired boost as well as add either action-less damage, or doubling the number of actions you have before needing to play "Let God sort them out..." from 2 to 4. As to why Zoey Samaras would have a Police Badge, well...

A tarnished emblem rested in her palm. A chip in the brass marked where a knife had glanced off it, and the name "Billy Cooper" was printed under a badge number and motto. A reminder that even the lawful institutions of man were not beyond falling to corruption, it filled her with determination, and will.

There, a lore-friendly reason for you.

Conclusion

Fulfil your knight templar fantasies, and experience a go big or go home play-style. Nathaniel Cho might be the definitive event-based guardian, but many fight events that he can't/won't touch are great for Zoey. Enjoy extra experience, and don't forget to declare cards like "Let God sort them out...", "I'll see you in hell!", "If it bleeds...", and "I've had worse…", in suitable badass one-liners fashion.